Chapter 21

I keep thinking that  I can't have a normal, simple relationship because I am too complicated. But, what if that's not the case? What if I'm simply making it too complicated. As if this is some sort of silent version of extreme self sabotage. I don't know. I've been driving myself crazy thinking about this though. I keep reflecting on my relationship (or lack there of) with Steve. I feel like I went out of my way to pick an overly complicated guy. Maybe subconsciously I keep looking for someone who is more screwed up than I. Like, somehow I figure that if I date someone screwey-er than I will all of a sudden seem normal. Or what if I'm so afraid of getting bored that I pick a guy who will entertain me with copious issues. So I guess my question is; is this something I want, or something I need?