Chapter 18

I haven't been writing lately. I haven't been doing much of anything lately. I keep telling myself that this is the way that my life is supposed to go. I am supposed to be comfortably alone. Yet, I can't seem to stop hoping for something more. I'm good at this. This comfortably alone montage. Having friends, and family, and a life but keeping the world at a distance. If I'm this good at it than this is how things should be. Or at least, this is how things will be. My mind keeps creating these over romanticized fantasies of love and life. The more I indulge the more hurt I become because I know it will never happen. I blame the movies. If Hollywood didn't keep creating romantic comedies than I would have a much more realistic view of life. But I guess it's not all their fault, they need to make a living somehow. And film is the only honest calling for a good liar.