Chapter 12

I've realized what it is about Steve that I can't let go of; he reminds me of my father. Actually, he's exactly like my father. And in all the wrong ways. I know that I can't do this anymore. It hurts way too much. I have enough emotional baggage from my actual father, let alone a mock one. I hate this. I want to fix him. I want to give some justice to his life. I can't let him walk around thinking that he's no good. But what if it destroys me in the process? I know that if I walk away than it will only reaffirm everything he's already been thinking about himself. I can't do that to someone. I can't let someone feel that way. I can't be responsible for letting someone else in the world feel like that. I don't know what to do. I care about him more than I would ever admit, but I can't get hurt again.

Chapter 11

I went through with it. I had lunch with B today and I had so much fun. I had such an easy time talking to him, it honestly was such a relief. I was so worried that our friendship would be somehow ruined by meeting face-to-face. I think this made it stronger-for me at least. It has opened new doors. I definitely want to get to know him better. I want to know more, know who he really is. I'm excited and I feel good.