Chapter 13

Sorry I didn't write last night, I ended up having an impromptu sleepover at Daniela's house. It was surprisingly fun. I finally got to see her in a more relaxed environment. I think that was good for us. That didn't do anything for my nerves though. I leave for Italy tomorrow. Then, I shall finally be home-well, home-ish rather. I am so excited. I love Italy. Plus, I love flying. I know that sounds weird, but I think there's something really homey about being on an airplane or in an airport. Needless to say I've nearly been jumping out of my skin these past few days. Something caught up to me last night though. It was this cloud of darkness. I haven't felt it in a while. I'm not sure what brought it on but it certainly was a surprise. I don't like it. I want the cloud to go away. These past few weeks I've been feeling really...good; an honest to God good too. I don't feel like I'm lying when I tell people that I'm fine. I don't want to loose that. All that dark cloud stuff is in the past, and that's where I want it to stay. The cutting, the starving, everything, it was in the land of before and that is where it needs to live. So, I'm going to push all of that behind me. I'm leaving the country, then it's a new school year, it's time for a fresh start. It's time to put all of that behind me and stop letting it drag me down. All of those things, those memories, it's just emotional baggage that has become way too heavy to carry around. So, I'm unpacking the emotional suitcase and putting all of the heaviness in the closet. I'm done with it.