Chapter 37

I don't know if I'm going to keep up this blog thing.... Comment with opinions....

Chapter 36

I believe in true love. I believe in true love more than anything on this earth. I believe as if it were something that I could see right in front of me. That belief fills my heart, and brings me so much joy and pain at the same time. I know that this belief is my greatest downfall. I believe so strongly that it eats me up inside. Every time I meet someone new I have this slight wonder if he's.. the one. Then, I sit in despair at how alone I am. I am alone. I am always alone. And I'm terrified that I will forever remain that way. I think my biggest fear is never finding true love. That's also my biggest secret. I will never mutter these words aloud. I will never tell anyone. And I will forever be alone.

Chapter 35

Everything's just falling apart.

Chapter 34

I feel like everyone around me is breaking. Every single person I have talked to today is facing some sort of legitimate life crisis. I don't know what to do. I'm the helper. I'm supposed to help people. I fix them. But I feel like I'm being swallowed by everyone else's pain. Every one is hurting, breaking, crushed. Why is this happening? How can they be allowed to hurt like that? Good, innocent people? How?

Chapter 33

I've been pretty good lately. In reconnecting with friends and trying to just be me. It's going we'll. Plus I found my locket! The holy grail of good signs!!!
An I tweet now... @TRDonadio

Chapter 32

Daniela was told about something that Steve and Kyra did. She said that it was horrible and disgusting. I'm curious to know what it is. But I've asked her not to tell me. I'm trying to put this all behind me. I know that if I find out something that devastating than it will only open old wounds. And wounded I am. I tried not to be. I hate being victimized. But I guess I am. Kyra honest to god has been attacking me ever since I walked away last year. She simply cannot let this go. I'm nearly at my wits end too. Him, plus her. It's almost run me out of school. When I don't see them I'm perfectly fine. But I can feel their bad energy when they walk by me. It's like a black smoke. It's this horrid, ominous being that follows them where every they go. When it touches me I can feel it sucking me in. I'm trying so hard to resist. I'm trying to stay out of all of that. I know that everything will be fine if I keep my head held high and don't sink to their level. But I feel myself slipping. I'm lonely too. I really enjoyed intimacy. I miss feeling that close to someone; feeling loved. I miss knowing that someone was looking out for me, like I do everyone else. I miss being kissed, and touched. But I don't miss him, and that says everything. I keep telling myself that something better is going to come along now. But I don't think I truly believe that.

Chapter 31

The day was good. I had a good time with my family and it was relatively stress free. Except for the fact that I found out that The girl S was with last night was his full on girlfriend. Normally, this wouldn't bother me except for the fact that he made such a huge deal about us not being a couple. I'm just really annoyed and maybe slightly offended. But I'm trying to to think about it. It's over. Everything is over and dwelling on the past isn't going to change it so I might as well just move on and not look back. I'll be okay.